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| This fall's ' it-color.' Which will not impress your kid. |
Oh man...I did a stupid, stupid thing today! I went to Ulta with my children.
I know, this was a bad idea. Kids, especially three-year-olds, do not belong in a huge store, full of expensive, fragile makeup. Duh.
But I thought, "My kid is a good kid. I've taught him how to handle himself. This will take fifteen minutes, tops. How bad could it be?" What I did not say to myself that I should have: "It is already past his afternoon naptime. He is tired, therefore unlikely to be overly cooperative. Also, you have another child with you. You are 50% more encumbered than you used to be."
So, in we went. All was well, as we grabbed mascara, a pencil sharpener, and the two shades of Essie nail polish I really wanted. Not so much anymore. Two nail polishes were so not worth the following.
We got up to the front desk, and Caleb, who was allowed to take one small, yellow tractor into the store with him, starts driving it (with realistic noises, but at a fairly unrealistic noise level) along the big, white checkout counter. The lady in front of us gives us one of those looks. You know the kind. It signals to you that this woman either never was a mother or hated her children until they were adults. I calmly and sweetly tell Caleb to drive his tractor back towards me, which he does not do.
Pause. I am, at this moment, carrying Lyla in her carseat. I also have a huge diaper bag hanging off the other shoulder. In my hands are mascara, two slippery nail polish bottles and a pencil sharpener that I have already dropped and popped open once. Unpause.
When Caleb ignores me, the woman in front of us tips her head in a that-was-just-what-I-expected-him-to-do kind of gesture, and inches forward. I blush, and start forward toward him, repeating myself. As he pulls away, I realize how almost immobile I am at this point; how powerless I am, since I have Lyla, etc.
The world freezes as I lock eyes with Caleb. He seems to read my mind.
And he's off.
Like a flash, running and giggling. Out of sight in two seconds flat.
And what do you do at this point? Let me say, the temptation to become that screaming mother you've seen in the grocery store line was incredibly strong. Luckily, as I turned, I caught the gaze of the woman in line behind me, who is pregnant, and gives me a sweet, understanding smile--with no pity in it, bless her!--and I snap into gear. I handed my products to the salesclerk, and said, "I am so sorry, but I am gonna give you these and have to go grab my kiddo." I completely ignorned the Horrible Woman as I scooted past her, and luckily, she left the store after that.
Then Caleb and I engaged in the game of standing on either end of the aisles, with him running ahead a few, giggling furiously, then stopping to wait for me to haul myself and Lyla far enough to catch sight of him, say, "Come here, Caleb," and then he screeches and takes off again. There is never fewer than a good thirty feet between the two of us.
And I am seeing red, red, red by this time, and have become a spectacle to boot. I am starting to realize that this horrible game is going to go on as long as he wants it to--cause what am I gonna do, put Lyla down in the middle of the store so I can be fast enough to make it down the aisle before he disappears again? Can't do that. After maybe 30 seconds, he finally comes down towards me into one of the aisles as I get to it. There were three girls in this row, of course. I pulled together every ounce of dignity and command I had left and said, in my firmest, most un-disregardable voice, "Caleb, come here right NOW." I may have gotten just a tad loud on the last word, but, well, I was doing good not screaming at the top of my very lungs.
Thank goodness for the three (very entertained) girls in that aisle, cause Caleb looked up at them and suddenly became Obedient Caleb, and meekly walked up to me, and put out his hand to mine. We returned to the checkout counter (believe me, it took what little self control I had left to actually go buy the stupid nail polish; never in my life have I wanted to buy something less), and out the door.
Caleb, of course, has been summarily dealt with by now, and is quite clear on the ins and outs of running away from Mom in stores. Not that he'll be in another one anytime soon.
Then Caleb and I engaged in the game of standing on either end of the aisles, with him running ahead a few, giggling furiously, then stopping to wait for me to haul myself and Lyla far enough to catch sight of him, say, "Come here, Caleb," and then he screeches and takes off again. There is never fewer than a good thirty feet between the two of us.
And I am seeing red, red, red by this time, and have become a spectacle to boot. I am starting to realize that this horrible game is going to go on as long as he wants it to--cause what am I gonna do, put Lyla down in the middle of the store so I can be fast enough to make it down the aisle before he disappears again? Can't do that. After maybe 30 seconds, he finally comes down towards me into one of the aisles as I get to it. There were three girls in this row, of course. I pulled together every ounce of dignity and command I had left and said, in my firmest, most un-disregardable voice, "Caleb, come here right NOW." I may have gotten just a tad loud on the last word, but, well, I was doing good not screaming at the top of my very lungs.
Thank goodness for the three (very entertained) girls in that aisle, cause Caleb looked up at them and suddenly became Obedient Caleb, and meekly walked up to me, and put out his hand to mine. We returned to the checkout counter (believe me, it took what little self control I had left to actually go buy the stupid nail polish; never in my life have I wanted to buy something less), and out the door.
Caleb, of course, has been summarily dealt with by now, and is quite clear on the ins and outs of running away from Mom in stores. Not that he'll be in another one anytime soon.
4 comments:
You poor thing! But it is kind of funny now that it's over, right? You are such a good writer. I felt like I was there. And I have to admit... I went right out today and bought that exact nail polish. I figured if you said it was cool, then I was going to need it. I'm about to paint my nails now! I love it!
Katie, you are so sweet! I painted my toes, and looked down and felt as though they were an ugly gray color! But I've gotten several compliments, and if you like it, too, then okay! :-) And, like I said, In Style says it's THE color, so we can't argue with them, right??
I will not paint my toes. Yay, summary treatment! Great story. /dad
That reminds me of the time John Arthur ran away from me in the Target parking lot. He got about 20 yards away and strangers had to bring him back to me, due to the fact that i had Audrey in the sleepy wrap. I WAS screaming at the top of my lungs at him, let me tell you. The interesting thing is...he was the EXACT same age that Caleb is now. And 6 months down the road, he would never do that. Hang in there. It's definitely a phase. And it's soooo great when it is over!
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